Now our lenten fast-off is officially and completely behind us, we can post in a show of solidarity.
*SHOW OF SOLIDARITY/RAISED FISTS*
MATLM (BAAN) would like to reaffirm our commitment to providing you with delicious, delicoius content (now including meat entrées). Well-rested and fortified with protein (and with new motivation in the form of pre-exam procrastination), we hope to bring you more of our best.
That is all.
In solidarity,
-Matt&Lauren
Showing posts with label lent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lent. Show all posts
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
RE: Lenten Resolutions
Dear readers (and soon-to-be listeners),
You've been sold a package of goods. After the relentless character assassination of by my co-host that occurred last week, I would not be surprised if you felt the urge to never read or listen to me again.
I implore you, do not follow this urge. It only helps Lauren's rapidly inflating ego (and gives her energy to sustain her resolution) and hurts you. For you are depriving yourself of my hilarity.
Lauren's dismissal of my Lenten resolution (fish isn't meat! ask the infallible Pope of Rome, who decreed it to be not-meat on numerous occasions) and judgment of my weakness in what can only be described as the tempting oasis that was M.C. Well, let her judge. BUT! I will only accept the judgment from my one true Judge: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's right, that's who.
It must also be noted, that Lauren is a non-red meat eating 'pseudo'-vegetarian 365 to 366 days a year. If you want to talk about a failed commitment I see no better example. If I were to have resolved to be a vegetarian by her standards I could eat all the chicken I want! Lord, I am weak and I want chicken! I WANT!
In a spirit of compassion, I offer her pillows as she walks through the day in an exhausted haze, while she dangles the corpses of various animals in front of my face.
My character is upstanding, my eyes are green, and I like long walks on the beach. Reserve your judgment for the show, reserve judging me for Him, and please (please) eat meat. Not a single calf, pig or roast (roast is an animal, right?) should survive due to my intransigent pesco-vegetarianism.
Not willing to take the low road, I will not say that Lauren is a liar OR a cheat. I will only subtly imply that Lauren is of somewhat less than savoury moral character. Lauren is of somewhat less than savoury moral character. Wow, that was subtle.
This belligerence on her part is driven by lack of sleep, so, in the spirit of the season: I forgive you Lauren. Come home and let's make some internet history.
xoxo
-Matt
You've been sold a package of goods. After the relentless character assassination of by my co-host that occurred last week, I would not be surprised if you felt the urge to never read or listen to me again.
I implore you, do not follow this urge. It only helps Lauren's rapidly inflating ego (and gives her energy to sustain her resolution) and hurts you. For you are depriving yourself of my hilarity.
Lauren's dismissal of my Lenten resolution (fish isn't meat! ask the infallible Pope of Rome, who decreed it to be not-meat on numerous occasions) and judgment of my weakness in what can only be described as the tempting oasis that was M.C. Well, let her judge. BUT! I will only accept the judgment from my one true Judge: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's right, that's who.
It must also be noted, that Lauren is a non-red meat eating 'pseudo'-vegetarian 365 to 366 days a year. If you want to talk about a failed commitment I see no better example. If I were to have resolved to be a vegetarian by her standards I could eat all the chicken I want! Lord, I am weak and I want chicken! I WANT!
In a spirit of compassion, I offer her pillows as she walks through the day in an exhausted haze, while she dangles the corpses of various animals in front of my face.
My character is upstanding, my eyes are green, and I like long walks on the beach. Reserve your judgment for the show, reserve judging me for Him, and please (please) eat meat. Not a single calf, pig or roast (roast is an animal, right?) should survive due to my intransigent pesco-vegetarianism.
Not willing to take the low road, I will not say that Lauren is a liar OR a cheat. I will only subtly imply that Lauren is of somewhat less than savoury moral character. Lauren is of somewhat less than savoury moral character. Wow, that was subtle.
This belligerence on her part is driven by lack of sleep, so, in the spirit of the season: I forgive you Lauren. Come home and let's make some internet history.
xoxo
-Matt
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Lenten Resolutions...
Reader(s), the last few weeks have been hell.
The curly-haired miscreant that calls himself my co-host has been offering pillows, soothing words, even sung a lullaby or two.
This is because I have given up sleeping in for Lent.
Now, for a normal person, this would not be considered difficult. They would merely go to sleep earlier and wake up at a Jesus-approved hour. I, however, am not a normal person, and I do not have a normal co-host.
Though I expect an equally verbose counter-argument from Matt, I want to get the word in edgewise that I have been sticking whole-heartedly to this resolution, though the bags under my eyes are hanging somewhere down around my knees. Even over the time change weekend, I braved the rest of that Sunday with three hours of quality snooze under my belt.
Reader(s), you will be sad to hear that Matt has not. He's been eating fish from day one, saying that it's not really meat (though it looks awfully like meat to me). And, though he would tell you he was force-fed chicken by his otherwise lovely hosts at Massey College, I assure you that this is not the case.
I write this not as libel but as a warning to you - when MALITM (BATN) hits the cast-waves, know that Matt is a liar and a cheat and any news that comes from his mouth is probably grossly misinterpreted (and might smell slightly of roast beef).
A lesser person would have given up, but not me, dear reader(s).
I love you too much.
A vindictive Lauren.
The curly-haired miscreant that calls himself my co-host has been offering pillows, soothing words, even sung a lullaby or two.
This is because I have given up sleeping in for Lent.
Now, for a normal person, this would not be considered difficult. They would merely go to sleep earlier and wake up at a Jesus-approved hour. I, however, am not a normal person, and I do not have a normal co-host.
Though I expect an equally verbose counter-argument from Matt, I want to get the word in edgewise that I have been sticking whole-heartedly to this resolution, though the bags under my eyes are hanging somewhere down around my knees. Even over the time change weekend, I braved the rest of that Sunday with three hours of quality snooze under my belt.
Reader(s), you will be sad to hear that Matt has not. He's been eating fish from day one, saying that it's not really meat (though it looks awfully like meat to me). And, though he would tell you he was force-fed chicken by his otherwise lovely hosts at Massey College, I assure you that this is not the case.
I write this not as libel but as a warning to you - when MALITM (BATN) hits the cast-waves, know that Matt is a liar and a cheat and any news that comes from his mouth is probably grossly misinterpreted (and might smell slightly of roast beef).
A lesser person would have given up, but not me, dear reader(s).
I love you too much.
A vindictive Lauren.
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