I'll see you in court, says...Calvert?

For those of you confused by this whole equalization mess, you're not alone. Stephen Harper recently admitted: "Mr. Speaker, I don't even understand what they are saying anymore." You and me both. So, first we had the the Atlantic Accord which began with a certain big-chinned law-bringer named Brian Mulroney. This excluded offshore resource revenues from equalization and included them in the revenue of the provincial revenues of Newfoundland(andLabrador) and Nova Scotia. Then in 2005, Paul Martin renewed this whole thing, which you may or may not remember involved some flag-pole-dancing by Danny Williams.

The issue thus far: Premier Williams (PC Party-NL) embarked on a campaign not only against Stephen Harper's budget (ads in the GAM at the beginning of summer) but also against Harper himself. He says Harper broke his promise. Jim Flaherty (CPC -Ontario, former Harris cabinet minister) said "Na-uh". Then Bill Casey (CPC -NS) said "Ya-uh" and Premier Rodney McDonald (PC - NS) also said that because he spent his equalization money on debt-reduction...already. Now Bill Casey (CPC -NS) is Bill Casey (I - NS). The budget is in the Senate, senators (not Senators) are being asked to stall (which will not gain them any love from Harper).

You may be wondering: how does Saskatchewan and Premier Lorne Calvert (NDP) fit into all of this? Well, as neither an Atlantic province nor a province with any offshore resource revenues (you may remember, Saskatchewan is the completely landlocked rectangle one on your Map of Canada). Well, he says Harper broke a promise to him, his province and the people of the Atlantic provinces over included non-renewable resource revenues in equalization. Flaherty says the new equalization formula is even better for Saskatchewan. Calvert says "Tell it to the mice!"

You may be wondering: well why aren't we being told more about what the budget actually does? Well see, that would be the case if Harper had an effective communication strategy. Evidence right now points to he doesn't. When Williams attacked him, he said "Whatcho talkin' bout, I'm all bouts the Atlantic Accord like I said befo'" Quoth from the Harper quoth in Andrew Coyne's column (that gets through some crap, and avoids car metaphor-mangling):

Why should Newfoundland's possibility of achieving levels of prosperity comparable to the rest of Canada be limited to an artificial eight year period? … Why is the government so eager to ensure that Newfoundland and Labrador always remain below the economic level of Ontario? The Ontario clause is unfair and insulting to the people of Newfoundland and Labrador, and its message to that province, to Nova Scotia and to all of Atlantic Canada is absolutely clear. They can only get what they were promised if they agree to remain have not provinces forever.

How will this play out...probably a lot like the Sopranos finale...

Go, Parliamentary Bickering, Go!

Opposition parties are demanding the Conservatives release their 'Playbook of Parliamentary Hiijinks: Not for Opposition MPs Naanananaana'. The 'Playbook' is a breezy 200 pages and was first reported on in the National Post. While preparing a sweet spitball, Government House Leader Peter Van Loan insisted that his party wants "to work together with all parties in the House". Then he shot the spitball and Liberal Baird-doppleganger Mark Holland.

Admittedly, the last few months of government have seen an escalation in bickering (enough to leave old Mike Duffy flabbergasted). Personal insults about mental proficiency, though not new to the House, have become increasingly common. Such insults included a dangerous game of "Prescribe Psychiatric Medication with no Qualifications" by one Conservative MP. This is, of course, the reason CPAC was invented, people.

The Conservatives have instead chosen to focus on issues of clear moral salience, like foreign strippers. Now, if I may, I suggest that being able to get strippers from every corner of the land is part of what makes this land so great. A veritable booty-mosaic, if you will. Harper is going up against the unstoppable market forces of free trade. Canadians demand booty, and strippers who supply it in surplus at home come to Canada to meet demand. Now strippers from Club Super-Sex in Montreal will be forced to meet demand across the country. But then, in a move out of the 'Playbook', the appeals programme of the Official Languages Committee has been undone. How will Marie-Claire send 'Ti-Jacques to the underfunded French-language school that is his right in Alberta/Saskatchewan/Manitoba?

You know what? No one should be giving anybody any books about how to be ineffective in Ottawa nowadays. Maybe they've all gone Cup Crazy TM.

Gordon O'Connor Also Buys Future Shop's Lifetime Warranties

In what can only be described as an error of omission, Gordon O'Connor announced today that the actual cost of supplying new (used German and Dutch -- Dutch?!) Leopard 2A6Mv tanks for Canadian troops in Afghanistan is double the initial cost reported to Parliament. Apparently, his thumb was covering the service cost contract for the next 20 years when he was last speaking to the issue. Well, glad he got back to us when he did..after all, it only doubled the cost from $650 million to $1.3 billion.

No biggie, right? Water under the bridge. I mean it's not like a government has ever been turfed for not being forthright about spending from the public purse. I hope the leopard print is nice...

Strippers a no-no at the Conservative Party - Unless they've got decent papers

The Conservatives are, according to an article written today in the Globe and Mail, taking action against the admittance of foreign strippers into Canada. Immigration Minister Diane Finley plans to introduce legistlation that would deny work permits to "working girls."

Many think that the move is a response to the Liberal "strippergate" scandal, where temporary work permits were issued for over 600 exotic dancers before 2004.

What I think?

Though Finley, no doubt, "works hard for the money, so hard for it, honey," she never quite made it in the stripper biz.



I mean, she really has that whole "wife-at-home" vibe that really kills a stag party (or liberal candidacy rally). And next to the foreign stripper, it's really hard for Di to keep her status as a "10" in the Conservative Party (not Canadian politics as a whole, of course. Have you SEEN Ruby Dhalla?).

Though Finley cites the reason of protecting "vulnerable foreign workers" for the new bill, I think looking above provides some clarity on the issue.

...

I really hope the bill doesn't pass, or all my parties are going to suck.