Newfoundland and Labrador evicts Quebec Innu

"Anytime anybody squats on land or asserts rights, we as a government have to deal with that," said Premier Danny Williams. Without a hint of irony.

Also, that 24 Hour Comic Day thing was our SURPRISE 100th post. After which we promptly disappeared.

Ed Mirvish dies at 92

Honest Eds
Originally uploaded by Bostich

'Honest Ed' Mirvish died this morning, and the obituaries have been popping up all over the media. Ed Mirvish is known for a lot of great things -- being a hard-nosed business man, safe guarding live theatre in Toronto, charity work, turkey, and my kind of cornball humour-- but most importantly he saw himself as a citizen of Toronto.

A lot of people say that doesn't happen to often. As they keep those too-many lights burning tonight (Ed wouldn't let them dim for a second, even in his memory), remember a bargain, remember a show, and remember a chuckle.

CityTV (not there) EVERYWHERE

After Lauren and I unsuccessfully tried to butt Ted Rogers in his bid to buy the CityTV stations from CTVglobemedia, humiliation is followed by frustration. As awesome as it would've been for us to take over Breakfast Television Toronto (and then, THE WORLD), it looks like it was not in the cards (or stars, or deified belly-button lint) for us. Now, CTV has unequivocally stated that the CityTV really-cool-newsvan-stickin'-outtawall is going to be removed.

Spurred on by the success of the Save the 'Sam the Record Man' sign campaign, facebookin' Torontonians have decided to come to the rescue. Yes, facebook has become the rapid-response Toronto Heritage Fund. As The Toronto Star noted: Toronto is the facebook capital of the world. It seems that Torontonians are all-too eager to use their ability to massively click buttons in unison to promote keeping old signs up as ownership changes hands. I love public space and all, heck, I love civic activism, but what if CTVglobemedia is going to use the space for something else really cool? Hahaha, I kill me... It'll probably be another billboard à la Yonge and Bloor. Or a huge poster of Tanya Kim and Ben Mulroney. Ugh.

The question remains: when push comes to shove, who will have the Skydomes (Roger Centres?) to start 'Save the Zanzibar store front!!!1'?

Report on Bidness: Slim gets Gates, Pensioners get Bell, You get Taxed

Queue the Minutemen. While Canadians are taking top speech-writing and campaign positions for the Republicans from Washington to Shwarzenegger's Gahlifornia, as jobs are outsourced to Thomas Friedman's Bangalore, it looks like Mexicans aren't only taking the jobs nobody wants anymore. It looks like it's 'Slim'-pickings for Microsoft founder Bill Gates who has been dethroned as World Richest Rich Person. That's what you get for giving it all away!

The new Richest Rich Person (no, I haven't yet found his e-mail address for solicitations) is Carlos Slim, Mexican financial dynamo and owner of America Movil. Slim's rise has been meteoric, because that's a word they use a lot to describe really fast rises: He has gone from Latin America's Richest to overtaking Warren Buffet (formerly Mr Gates' #2 - uh, I mean the second richest...) in April and now Gates. Besides having the name of a cowpoke, Slim's wealth is equal to 8% of Mexico's GDP. No word on whether he likes Eminem.

Before we all get high and mighty that US jobs are going to us foreigners (MUHAHAHAHA), Canadians are not above trying to protecting our jobs. In the recent 'hollowing out of Canada' debacle that has just concluded. An all-Canadian (wave the flag, queue the Maple Leaf Forever or something, Darren) merger between Telus and BCE, lovingly named 'Belus' like a celebrity couple, was averted. Instead the company is now majority owned by Canadians (as was always its CRTC-ordained fate) and a group of American private-equitizers. So, Mr Gates notwithstanding, Americans can be proud they've managed to break a record this week (this is the largest private equity buy out EVER, ever, ever), and we will smugly take pride that it couldn't happened without us. Courtesy the EEEKonomist.

Tony's gonna be pissed...if he's still alive. A story about New Jersey and turnpikes! I've already made a stereotypical Soprano's reference! Before I run out my welcome with the locals, I'll try get through this. The E-Z Pass(American 'Zee') is a new computer-aided innovation that makes getting ou-er, around a lot easier on the highway. For those who live in the modestly named GREATer Toronto Area, you may be familiar with the Express Toll Route transponder, it's much the same. You drive zip-bloop-bleep you're charged the toll. Will the ETR-economy is not a good buzzword. For those who are angry about David Miller's newly sanctioned land tax (GTAers?), the NYT presents a story about all the taxes you DON'T know about in the EZ Pass Economy.

Alright, let's never do this again...until next time.

Finally, Big Brother is watching me...

It's the future, boys and girls, and I was promised a lot of things. OK, my parents were promised a lot of things for their children, namely me, and I'm here to collect. Flying cars, jet packs, movators, dysotpian dictatorships, continental global conflict, mass production of genetically ideal human beings. I'm still quite dissappointed that I can't own my very own Orbity. Things are moving slow, but they are moving there.

Despite the reports that Canada isn't innovative enough: A start-up company in Kingston, Ontario has developed a billboard that watches you. Yes, Yakov Smirnov fans, it's true. Eric Blair, George Orwell to the uninitiated, is jumping for joy up yellin' "TOLD YOU SO, Aldous Huxley!" at the big dysptoian novelist "bar+café" in the sky. He probably even dropped his panini.

Advertisers will be watching us the way we were promised big government would. Oh, that market and it's trusty invisible hand (and now invisible eye). I demand to be watched constantly, and you supply. Waitasec...

I'll see you in court, says...Calvert?

For those of you confused by this whole equalization mess, you're not alone. Stephen Harper recently admitted: "Mr. Speaker, I don't even understand what they are saying anymore." You and me both. So, first we had the the Atlantic Accord which began with a certain big-chinned law-bringer named Brian Mulroney. This excluded offshore resource revenues from equalization and included them in the revenue of the provincial revenues of Newfoundland(andLabrador) and Nova Scotia. Then in 2005, Paul Martin renewed this whole thing, which you may or may not remember involved some flag-pole-dancing by Danny Williams.

The issue thus far: Premier Williams (PC Party-NL) embarked on a campaign not only against Stephen Harper's budget (ads in the GAM at the beginning of summer) but also against Harper himself. He says Harper broke his promise. Jim Flaherty (CPC -Ontario, former Harris cabinet minister) said "Na-uh". Then Bill Casey (CPC -NS) said "Ya-uh" and Premier Rodney McDonald (PC - NS) also said that because he spent his equalization money on debt-reduction...already. Now Bill Casey (CPC -NS) is Bill Casey (I - NS). The budget is in the Senate, senators (not Senators) are being asked to stall (which will not gain them any love from Harper).

You may be wondering: how does Saskatchewan and Premier Lorne Calvert (NDP) fit into all of this? Well, as neither an Atlantic province nor a province with any offshore resource revenues (you may remember, Saskatchewan is the completely landlocked rectangle one on your Map of Canada). Well, he says Harper broke a promise to him, his province and the people of the Atlantic provinces over included non-renewable resource revenues in equalization. Flaherty says the new equalization formula is even better for Saskatchewan. Calvert says "Tell it to the mice!"

You may be wondering: well why aren't we being told more about what the budget actually does? Well see, that would be the case if Harper had an effective communication strategy. Evidence right now points to he doesn't. When Williams attacked him, he said "Whatcho talkin' bout, I'm all bouts the Atlantic Accord like I said befo'" Quoth from the Harper quoth in Andrew Coyne's column (that gets through some crap, and avoids car metaphor-mangling):

Why should Newfoundland's possibility of achieving levels of prosperity comparable to the rest of Canada be limited to an artificial eight year period? … Why is the government so eager to ensure that Newfoundland and Labrador always remain below the economic level of Ontario? The Ontario clause is unfair and insulting to the people of Newfoundland and Labrador, and its message to that province, to Nova Scotia and to all of Atlantic Canada is absolutely clear. They can only get what they were promised if they agree to remain have not provinces forever.

How will this play out...probably a lot like the Sopranos finale...

The World According to Us: Hands Off My Flag!

In Los Angeles, a less than angelic security guard at Dodgers Stadium hassled a Canadian waving the Maple Leaf, l'Unifolié. This in a land that has considered constitutional amendments to protect their flag from Timmy Tinder and Aaron Arson. A flag double-standard is clearly being set. We Canadians need to stand up for our flag, just like we regularly do when we celebrate Flag Day (Feb 15), describe it as a 'red rag' (Bernard Landry) or withhold flying it on Provincial buildings as a political protest(Danny Williams). Heh, or when we replace the maple leaf with other foliage.

In response to Bo Derek's international campaign (that involves white shirts, lots of tight white shirts), the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species CITES has banned the trade of sawfish. OK, maybe ti has nothing to do with Bo Derek. But she's aging well isn't she? Goodferher. Um, and don't by seal penises or rhino-horns. They invented Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra for a reason. (If your erection-inducing med isn't included here, it clearly isn't in my Spam folder)

In Hawaii, it's Kamehameha Day. If anyone out there used to watch the old Dragon Ball anime, no relation. But if you want, yell Kamehameha anyone. Instead this time, do it in honour of the King that united the Kingdom of Hawai'i and carried many heavy things according to Wikipedia...and, er, prophesy.

In other news, Stephen Lewis, who literally wrote a book on how the G-8 lacks a moral compass, has declared that the G-8 lacks moral compass (correction: anchor. Though it would make more sense to have a compass to decide how to go forward than an anchor to hold you down, no?). Lewis is the former UN Special Envoy on HIVAIDS in Africa and fundator of the Stephen Lewis Foundation, he also has twenty-seven moral compasses (anchors) on him at all times.

G-8 Protests: Highlights

Ever since the Battle of Seattle and the Genoa G-8 Summits, the press and the protesters have been flocking to the outskirts of every G-8 host city. The noise gets louder the crowds get bigger, and papiermaché and pantomime is more elaborate. Over the course of it all, some world leaders meet. A communiqué that has been long ago negotiated is finally released - containing words that will offend no one and simultaneously please fewer. So why do the protesters keep coming? I couldn't be bothered to fly to Heilling--Germany, so rather than vaguely trying to probe the profundities that have propelled these picketers I offer The Best of G-8 'o7.

As I've mentioned numerous times, the papiermaché heads. I love 'em. If you haven't seen them here they are playing poker:...and playing doctor. Both times with a stand-in for Africa.
Here are some folks who got some eats from Burger King, Rostock...
...those are the weirdest kid's meal toys I have ever seen. I'm not sure what's going on here, but the corn-on-the-cob-dentata is scary...

This year's the first time I've seen some geniune G-8 supporters showing up to rouse some rabble. I mean you can't dress like that unless you feel great about anything and everything going on in the world.
Of course, some folks weren't so amused.
..hey, Tony! That's a bit of an overreaction.

Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly)

[Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly) is our look at the country most commonly known as "Canada" without so much as making a passing-glance at the affairs of the federal government, federal-province relations or any the like. It aims to go, from sea to sea to sea...or as close as possible on any a regular basis.]

Well it looks like it only took one more week for this, our the country is local close-up to actually make it from sea to sea to sea. Needless to say, it seems that one affliction seems to have stricken the land: gambling. From Beautiful BC all the way to the Yukon (that's the Arctic Ocean sunzabidges) and across this land to the Atlantic, Lotto companies are being met with charges of corruption. It seems like the hopes and prayers of many blue-haired church ladies (who just love the rush of imagining that cool 32 mill, and pimpin' their walkers) and the office pool (ready to turn on each others knives a-brandished) are being cheated. Rumours abound that a suspicious number of Lotto retailers have got been laying claim to the booty. In BC this led to the head of the BC Lottery Corp being fired. Atlantic Lotto, which administers lottery services in four provinces is going under review. In Yukon, Western Lotteries Corp promises nothing is amiss. Never have so many ill-gotten riches been so ill-gotten (you all know gambling's a sin). Who can you have faith in if not the Lottery and Gaming Commissions? Faith in that little ticket paying off? What about Atlantic Lotto's new online bingo?

You'd hardly think Alberta was facing a labour shortage with the way babies keep showing up all over the place. Nonetheless, the oil boom out West seems to be met with a baby boom, except what's happening to those babies is another matter. A baby was recently found on a doorstop Medicine Hat, just weeks after the Wal-Mart baby of Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. You know whose good at dealing with surplus babies? Brangelina...remember when they were shooting a movie in Calgary...

In PEI, Liberal Premier-designate has demonstrated that all Libs are alike, mere weeks after his election is facing a patronage scandal. Robert Ghiz, I told you I'd be watching you. Who do you think you are? Not ending the contracs made by the Progressive Conservatives in the past eleven years that have smacked of patronage and massively reappointing those contracts to Liberal friends... Honouring contracts in good-faith. You may be the next in a well-heeled political dynasty, Mr Ghiz but you know nothing about how politics work. Instead you hide behind the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. For shame. The next curiosity is how will he make that damn bridge bring in the Bordens, ten years later...

Speaking of bloated political dynasties, Gary Doer's Manitoba NDP has touched some yow-hot water. It looks like the riding of Wellington had a nomination SCANDAL-LE. Manitoba likes it political drama high-octane so you'll have to bear with me. Point form is the most dramatic:
-Wellington is an inner-city riding in Winnipeg, and traditional NDP stronghold. However, it was exposed due to accusations that previous candidate hadn't payed his dues. Years of service, and the man hasn't payed his dues!
-Joe Chan decides to up-and-run for the nomination, but it turns out he's up-and-running from a criminal past. Kind of like Harrison Ford in The Fugitive but without the chases, Tommy Lee Jones, and he's just not disclosing information as opposed to running from the police.
-Both run in the riding as independents (! , I know...), causing fears that a three-way split with the actual NDP candidate would split the vote and give rise to another party.
-At the last minute an inflammatory pamphlet (! , again) about Chan was sent around. Manitoba: The last time I heard about an inflammatory pamphlet was...Martin Luther's 95 Theses in 1517.
-The NDP candidate won more than half the popular vote. I must admit it seems "Manitoba: Just Do'er" is GOLD west of Kenora.

Le Monde à Notre Avis/The World According to Us

Vladimir Putin declares: "I'm an absolute democrat", absolutely. Coming under criticisms for recent autocratic actions (i.e. silencing critics with his trademark witty mists of radioactive material). As an absolute democrat, Putin has decided that, in retaliation for the US setting up anti-missile bases on neighbouring (however, hardly neighbourly) Poland and Czech Republic, he will aim Russian missiles at European capitals. For one meeelion dollars. Unfortunately the only person Putin seems to be willing to have talk him out of him is the man who he describes as the only person as committed to democracy as him: Gandhi. Gandhi. Mahatma.
In other news, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty, after his brief foray into the international affairs with Ahnold, has decided to snub the Pope. It looks like all that Harry Potter he's been reading has finally gotten to him. Just because Dumbledore dies doesn't mean you need to give up on the One True Faith. Sure, the Terminator wants to talk the environment Dalton's floppy ears are all a-wiggle, when His Holiness is game "I have other responsibilities". (Don't tell Benny, but I think what he means is Don't call me, I'll call you.)

Meanwhile, in Germany...the G-8 Summit is about to get under way. It promises to be awkward at least for Georgie and Vlad. It's nice that Tony will be showing up, now that he's basically declared himself politically irrelevant by resigning. Harper is going to try sporting his green tie for the conference. The G-8 most remarkable aspect is definitely the whole protesting aspect. Those altermondialistes love painstakingly making papiermaché world leader heads.

OMG N.W.T. TB! WTF?

Admittedly, this first caught my attention because I thought it had something to do with the first TB-guy. You know the one who was said "It's only a cough, I'll be fine once I travel across the ocean and pass as many national borders as possible." It turns out, an entirely different TB scare is going on in the North West Territories, says the Ceeb. Like all good stories, as Lauren so often says, it started with a homeless man. It has now lead to hundreds being tested for tuberculosis across the En-dublya-tee.

Moving from the homeless to English majors (which may not be much of a stretch, zing): the outbreak of mumps that started in Nova Scotia's universities is continuing to spread. Cases in Nova Scotia are reported at 326 by the Ceep, however a 'Joel Plaskett' state of 'Emergency' has not yet been declared. Be wary of anyone who's 'McLachlan' up 'Bubbles' all over the place this could get out of hand. Luckily, vaccinations will be available soon starting at only a 'Buck-65' per shot. Anne Murray.

Apologies to all those willing to accept them for the excess of spelling out acronyms and the horrendous East Coast music scene puns. Credit is due for not making a joke about how the sick would be driven into the "Great Big Sea". OK, fine. There from Newfoundland and Labrador anyway.

Future Killer-Robot Pledges to Fight for Science

Today Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dalton McGuinty have signed two memoranda of agreement between Cal-EE-FOR-nya and Ahn-ter-yo on the topics of stem cell research and climate change. Like his loin cloth wearing alter-ego, Arnie has chosen to wield a double-edge sword. This time, it's the sword of modern science. Like said alter-ego, he will use it to cut through any girly man that gets in his way! New super-heat resistant amphibious-Californians will be able to withstand the extreme temperature and flooding caused by the climate change, that Hollywood (/North) prevented by switching to compact fluorescents.

Arnold is definitely one to practice what he preaches. Look at the Terminator series, now that's a morality play I can get behind.

Next, Arnie at 24 Sussex and he is there to PUMP STEVIE UP.

La Course au Troisième Place: Juste Marois

**English follows**

Plus vite que je puisse finir ma première rédaction au sujet de la cours à la direction du Parti Quebecois, le candidat-vedette s'est retiré. Cette cours, qui a commencé avec la démission de l'ancien chef André Boisclair, est très important au futur du mouvement souvrainiste. Maintenant, Gilles Duceppe, qui a été souhaité favori dans les médias anglophones s'est déjà retiré de la cours après un jour. Jusqu'à 11h ce matin il n'y avait aucun candidat à la direction officielle. À 11h, Mme Pauline Marois s'est annoncé officiellement. Elle est présentement la seule candidate.

Pourquois le mouvement souvrainiste se trouve-t'il avec aucun course à sa direction? Au lieu d'un cours, on voit un couronnement d'une femme du vieux Parti. Même si sa langage, aujourd'hui, decrit la modernisation du programme du Parti, ça fait sa troisième candidature pour la chefferie.

L'esprit de l'élection de M. Boisclair était censé être pour le renouvellement du programme de souveraineté. Le programme n'a pas change et les Québécois et Québécoises l'ont rejeté dans la dernière élection. Au lieu d'adopter le renouvellement sous leur chef "dynamique", le Parti lui a rejeté. Chaque fois qu'on a mis son leadership en question, on parlait des vieux soldats du mouvement M. Duceppe et même M. Landry, qui retourneront pour retirer le mouvement des feux d'enfers.

Est-ce que j'accuse le souverainisme d'être dans l'embrasse de la mort. Non, mais, comme quelque hors des réalités quotidiennes de ce mouvement, j'observe que ça ne veut pas changer. Ça veut toujours retourner à un âge d'or, quand Saint-Réné émanciperait la nation et on a battu le modèle québécois de la "démocratie-sociale". Détroisième place, le passé avec des gouvernements majoritaires du PQ, semble bien accueillissent pour ceux qui cherchent des réponses.

**(En anglais/In English)**

Pardon my attempts to exercise my broken French (it's part of rehabilitation, the doctors say). Before I could even finish writing my post on the "race" for Third Place, the star-candidate pulled out. This race, which started with the resignation of André Boisclair, is very important among separatist circles. Now, Gilles Duceppe, who basically started all this noise, has pulled out due to his low numbers in Quebec (not just the PQ, but all of Quebec). He was the English media's designated White Knight for the sovereigntists, you may recall. Until Mme Pauline Marois announced her candidacy at 11:00 AM there were no candidates in the race for the PQ chefferie. There are still no other official candidates.

For all the talk of the necessity of renewal, the ONLY candidate in what has been called a "couronnement" (crowning) is a third time candidate. In fact, whenever Mr. Boisclair's leadership was called into question the replacements suggested seemed to bounce between old hands of the sovereignty movement: Duceppe and Landry. Wasn't Boisclair supposed to be the new face/voice/generation of the PQ...Macleans?

As an outsider, it looks like the separatist movement is yearning for the simple days of being told what to do by St. Réné with the aim of emancipation and the Quebec model. I'm not going to call the separatists for being in "the death throes"--they're full of surprises. Last March's fall to third party seems to have led to a great clamour for the past in the PQ.

Loose Lips Render Ships Leaky (therefore less buoyant and more likely to sink)

It's hard being the New Government of Canada, it's like being the really, really hot girl. All the guys are flocking around you trying to figure out who you might like, what you like in your overly elaborate corsage, etc. Really all they seek is validation, but all you want is to throw off the shackles that are your pompoms and be free on the road, running off with the...Ahem. OK it's nothing like being the hot girl.

I digress. Let's take the two cases compared by the GAM this morning as I sipped my coffee.
Case 1: the gentleman who leaked the Tories revised environment plan. Jeffrey Monaghan is an avowed anarchist who recently participated in opening an anarchist book store. I like those I hear they're payment optional. Wait-a-sec. Mr. 'A'-in-a-Circle, if you ... and you're working for the government. Isn't it kind of like Lenin working at McDonald's? So Jeffr-'A' (surnames are the shackles of my ancestors)'s actions aren't unexpected. Kudos to the government on a backgrounder on this guy. Now this gentleman is facing prison time....in itself that's kind of ironic for an anarchist. Anyway he's complaining.
Case 2: the gentleman who leaked Senatorial overspending on a trip to Dubai. Jeffrey Kroeker has a surname that often leads to him being confused with Nickelback on the guest-list. More importantly he is now a senior Tory Cabinet aide working under the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs. Why the hell would there be such a drastically different outcome. It definitely has nothing to do with the odd synchronization of a government bent on reforming the Senate and damning evidence of a lack of Senatorial accountability. No, that could hardly be the case.

The moral of this story? Never trust ANYone named "Jeffrey", "Geoffrey" or "Geo/Jeff". Especially not the Toys'R'Us monstrosity, or the rascally kid from Family Circus.

3 Reasons for Sunday voting

In an effort to increase the effectiveness of the Tory Vote Mobilizing Machine for the next elections, The Tories are trying to extend elections to two days (Sunday noon-8PM [8:30 Newfoundland] and Election Monday) to increase voter turn out. They've also extended the election hours to just after church services are finished. So after getting pumped up on Jesus, the West Edmonton Christian Assembly can go straight to the polls!

Or, how about this one? OK. In an effort to debilitate former Canadian Alliance leader (Air Farce one-liner) and current Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day's faintest hopes of attaining the PMO, voting starts on Sunday. Everyone remembers that Stephen refused to campaign on Sundays for church/family time. CONJECTURE: Stockwell is making Martinian/ Gordon-Brownian/ Duceppian moves to pull the Conservatives from under Stephen Harper's feet. Just a suggestion, if I ever heard a peep from the Conservative caucus.

Or, Harper is just trying to boost voter turn out through a back-flank attack on the Lord's Day.

"Blair" Thee Well

You may be saying to yourself "Where did Matt get such a sweet picture of British PM Tony "MC Scrachez" Blair doing his sweet air-turntable move?" My answer: a Canadian Press photo from this CBC article about Blair's departure. That's right Tony "Didn't Get a Cool Nickname like the Iron Lady" Blair is departing the premiership (here he is seen...wafting something). Citing his unprecedented three terms (totaling near to a decade in power) as enough. He will be departing June 27. I'm setting my watch by it.

Blair, as a good New Labour-ite, learned from Chairman Stalin's mistakes. He decided not to pursue the traditional life term sought by others. Nor did he grow the 'stache, that would've been weird. Try blinking and not seeing Tony Blair with a moustache. Couldn't do it. Won't be able to, for the rest of your life.

Apparently Blair is leaving New Labour in much the same shape as Jean Chrétien left the Liberal Party. I can't wait for the Scottish Stéphane Dion to burst on to the scene in a cloud of 'no one giving a crap.' (A no prize if anyone can give Stéphane Dion a really good Scottish name, or photoshop him as Scottish as possible)

Congrats Chairman Blair, for making New Labour just like New Coke. Red, but without any of the original reasons anyone liked it in the first place.

Stephane Dion: MAKE-OVER

Shuffles in the upper echelons of Stéphane Dion's politico-non-campaign campaign machine suggest he's up for a makeover. Here at Matt & Lauren in the Mornin', but Actually at Night there's nothing we love than a good makeover. So we thought we'd volunteer our own Stéphane Dion Makeover. Here is Stéphane now:

Jeez, even for his official glam-shot Stéphane still looks like he's offering to do your homework in exchange for fewer wedgies. Paper in the foreground! All this says about Stéphane is that he can read documents that are printed on white paper! BLANDORAMA. What does Stéphane believe in? Well he has his three pillars let's try: ENVIRO-MENTAL STéPHANE:
Mmm...maybe this is too enviro...mental. This might alienate voters who are, already alienated by his environmental stance. Though the thumbs up is a definite bonus and the solar panel says "I like technology, I'm not all wonky granola"...so let's keep the good and drop the bad. Maybe play with that whole steel-coloured hair. Everyone loves of silver-spandex jumpsuit:

New hair style kind of reminiscent of Sir Wilfrid Laurier. It's very shiney, the kids love their bling. Although Harper does have the whole robot thing basically in the pocket. Stéphane wants to play up how passionate he is, how nouveau génération he is.
Politics is all about streetcred. As in appropriating various popular culture figures to advance your own cred. Like Paul Martin and Bono. Unfortunately this makeover won't do it all, because Stéph went to sperm-donor to the stars, K-Fed (Kevin Federline, you know, Britney Spear's ex-husband), for fashion advice. I'd keep the PIMP cup, "cause I'm all for gettin' 'crunked' like it's hot", but the earrings are too grandma-Dion. K-Fed doesn't mean 'Kanadian-Federalism' Stéph, you'd better back off!

Well let's take the best of the new and the old, and we get Stéphane "Stéph" Dion 2.0 (I am the user-driven content):
Cheers, Stéph 2.0, cheers.

Copyright? That's a stretch

Copyright law is a familiar struggle to Canadians and many people in the post-industrial world. Intellectual Property can set the eyes of many teenagers a-glaze as they fire up bitTorrent, YouTube or whatever. Then there are the real fringe: the teens who could teach you the real facts about copyright law. Those are the pirates. Swab your deck. I digress: the context in which you usually hear copyright law and intellectual property bandied about is movies and music. Occasionally (if, like Bono, you care about Africa for example), you hear it in the context of pharmaceuticals. How about Yoga?

Yes, no-fat cappuccino-shucking yuppies around the world may soon see their repetoires severely limited. Already some Yogagurus make their charges pay to teach "their" techniques. The Indian government is seeking to build a database to secure their cultural heritage so others can't make money off it. You know what that sounds like: communism. Not like centuries-old wisdom should be shared by those who can actually stretch that way. Or like Lauren and I were charged by a Montreal Yoga-monk $1.25 for his book (feat. the Beatles). You know what else: yoga means "union", as in maybe the "Yoga of Socialist Soviet States"? WHO SAID THAT!?

I wonder what Dr Ruby Dhalla thinks about all this?

Now I've got to watch Spider-Man 3 off YouTube, wait in line at the movie theatre? Psh.

Boisclair

So, the exam time post-slump is mostly over. That is, if Lauren and I can pull ourselves out of the bottle.

Speaking of pulling out of slumps and abusing intoxicants: PQ leader Andre Boisclair has resigned his post just in time for the opening of the first Assemblé nationale where he PQ is neither government or opposition since the party's founding.

This outcome has been described as inevitable as well as "triste", and RDI has been covering the story with a fine-toothed comb since about 11:00am (Eastern, 9:30 in Newfoudland). While CBCNewsworld was telling me about... another Taiwanese parliamentary brawl. Sometimes I worry about the pulse of the nation.

Speculation on the whole thing has immediately turned to Gilles "Gills" Duceppe to step down from the BQ to the PQ. After all that business Gills did of wooing English Canada with his wolf-like gaze and his nasal debates, it would be a shame to see him leave the national scene. Or would that be move to the national scene?

Also, Muchmoremusic's show "Nosedive" was doing a profile of Tara Reid. You know, since Tara Reid's boob has been exposed people have been wondering: who would do best in the next sex-gross out comedy/horror movie? Dr Ruby Dhalla. Not an imposition, just a suggestion.

Pope says 'Yes' to Harper's Green Plan

In a strange confluence of events, the Tory green plan has been met not only with Papal assent (er...recognition that the faithful must respond to climate change) but also, much more difficult to procure, Albertan assent.

If you think of the timing of the announcement, it's not too bad: the Conservatives managed to be one whole day ahead of the Catholic Church's response to climate change. I mean I knew Canada's New-Car-Smell Government lessthanthrees priorities and rapid responses, but it barely eked out the Roman Catholic Church. If the Catholic Church has represented anything in the past 2000 years it has been slow, slow, slow acceptance of new ideas (as in only accepting them when they become old ideas, if at all).

In terms of Alberta, 'Steady Eddy' Ed Stelmach has announced comfort with the federal plan as it is largely synchronous with the Albertan green plan announced earlier this year. Hold the phone. For all their reputation, Alberta had a green plan before the Feds? Needless to say, the Albertan plan, just like the Fed plan, has been judged to only be all small part of what is necessary.


Well, at least now we have God on our side.
xoxo
-Matt