Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly): MP 'Sexiest', Sask MLA 'Most retired'

[Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly) is our look at the country most commonly known as "Canada" without so much as making a passing-glance at the affairs of the federal government, federal-province relations or any the like. It aims to go, from sea to sea to sea...or as close as possible on any a regular basis.]

First off, awesome Ruby Dhalla news that wouldn't normally make STSTS(N). Who says democracy doesn't work, let alone work sexily? Ruby Dhalla tops the Sexiest Fem-P list according to the Hill Times. Woo. Dr Dhalla, let me just say, I've been pulling for you all along.

Moving on to the general theme, The Economist goes North. The Economist is taking a look at Canada's North to see, what's really going on up there? And in desperate search for an upside to global warming. Our intrepid correspondent remarks how hard it is to pronounce Iqaluit (EEK-ah-lu-IT) and how it led him to learning an Inuktituk swear. Also, there is this adorable polar bear photo:
Give it a look see. It's pretty neat to get some outsider perspective on the whole thing, without the obligator Northern Heritage bit that has so struck Mansbridge's heart. His wonderful, gravitas-pumping heart.

PEIFA (the P.E.I. Fishermen's Association) clearly a 'worker's' organization maintaining strict quotas and distorting the market value of crab, has given up this year. Actually, it doesn't have the funds to pay fishermen not to fish, by buying their licenses. Knowing that can't rely on brazen hooligan Premier Robert Ghiz, they're turning to the Feds to help them retire 20% of the existing licenses out East. Maybe I underestimated Ghiz, he shows up and these pesky quota-pushers are out. Bottom trawlers roll out!

Nova Scotia Lieutenant Governor Mayann Francis has been inspired by the Bay ads and has revived her garden party. I, for one, had little clue that garden parties had any traditional weight in Canada. I thought they were y'know, backyard BBQs, patio parties, and.. KEEGGGGERS. Now I know, you need a representative of the Queen and that catchy song by the soothing songstress in the HBC ad.

This week, Toronto Mayor David Miller caused quite the kerfuffle over some decals on city emergency vehicles. This was quite possibly the biggest non-fight of the year. After campaigning for a day, Miller hears about yesterday's triple casualties and retracts his bid to end the Year-long Yellow Ribbon Campaign. The whole affair was rather silly, most Torontonians were either mildly offended by the whole question, or benevolently indifferent that Miller kept the decals up. Deep thought: if the sticker sticks let it sticks, and Mr Mayor, hope this issue doesn't stick to your Wikipedia entry (legacy - see Colby Cosh, I can be current too).

'Toon-Town (Saskatoon) is now lighter one political heavyweight. Saskatchewan Party MLA Merriman has called for a cessation of all merriment (too easy) as he declares he will not run in the next provincial general election. Lorne Calvert is respectfully bemused. I think, I mean that is the impression he gives me. This is something that would bemuse him but he would be respectful. Well, if you're in the rest of Canada you don't really see him that often and I mean...

British Columbia has decide it was starting to resemble that other Columbia a little too closely and decided to crack-down on Lottery retailers. If you own a convenience store and want to sell scratch-and-wins, bingos and the like, you must now...take a course and be certified. This is a result of a 'scathing report' by the provincial ombudsman. Part of certification is a criminal background check, there goes Pickton's dream of opening a lotto kiosk. Let's hope he doesn't do anything rash.

That's all for this edition. Get lost...

Doctor in the House? Doctor Dhalla in dahouse!

Who knew life on the Hill was so much part-Medical drama? I'd always thought of it as more of part-bitch fest, part-24 hour news cash-cow, and part-TV singing competition. I digress.

Let's set the very dramatic stage: Two rival camps meet across the hall every Wednesday. Sworn enemies, never united. Not by blood, never by love (if never-er by respect). The Liberalos and the Conservapulettes. Suddenly, Convervapulette MP Nina Grewal faints (!) to cries of "Is there a doctor in the house!?" The shocking revelation, not a single member of the Conservapulette caucus is an ex-Medicolo. Conservapulettes desperate to save their comrade (though they would never say comrade, that's one of those dirty NDP words) cross the Centre Block to the Liberalo caucus (which is the only one with ex-Meds...the Toronto Star emphasizes). Who rises to the challenge?! Bernard Patry (Pierrefonds-Dollard) and Ruby Dhalla (Brampton-Springdale-My-Dreams). Of course, Dr Dhalla tagged along in case the fainting was brought on by a killer backspasm. Needless to say, c'est tout reglé. It was a minor incident. But oh so rrrrrriveting.

Dhalla Pour La Chefferie!

Grace au manque du vrai changement au parti Québécois (et un course à la direction qui me laisse bien décu J'annoce qu'ici à Matt et Lauren au Matin (mais vraiment le soir) nous appuions Dr Ruby Dhalla pour la chefferie du PQ. Ici, le mouvement "Draft Dhalla" commence!

Elle represente un vrai changement pour le PQ. Elle a tout ce que Mme Marois a, et plus!

Une femme forte qui est commis à la justice sociale. Un réputation bien fort comme politicienne. On dit que c'est le temps pour la première femme de devenir, pourquoi pas la première Bramptonienne? Sikh? Vedette de filme "Bollywood"?

Boisclair

So, the exam time post-slump is mostly over. That is, if Lauren and I can pull ourselves out of the bottle.

Speaking of pulling out of slumps and abusing intoxicants: PQ leader Andre Boisclair has resigned his post just in time for the opening of the first Assemblé nationale where he PQ is neither government or opposition since the party's founding.

This outcome has been described as inevitable as well as "triste", and RDI has been covering the story with a fine-toothed comb since about 11:00am (Eastern, 9:30 in Newfoudland). While CBCNewsworld was telling me about... another Taiwanese parliamentary brawl. Sometimes I worry about the pulse of the nation.

Speculation on the whole thing has immediately turned to Gilles "Gills" Duceppe to step down from the BQ to the PQ. After all that business Gills did of wooing English Canada with his wolf-like gaze and his nasal debates, it would be a shame to see him leave the national scene. Or would that be move to the national scene?

Also, Muchmoremusic's show "Nosedive" was doing a profile of Tara Reid. You know, since Tara Reid's boob has been exposed people have been wondering: who would do best in the next sex-gross out comedy/horror movie? Dr Ruby Dhalla. Not an imposition, just a suggestion.

NOT ROSIE TOO!

Now Rosie O'Donnell is leaving The View! After a relentless stream of fem-betrayals I'm loosing hope in the fairer sex. Not that I in any way subscribe to the belief that women are fundamentally treacherous and have been since Eve gave Adam that sweet sweet apple that I carry in my larynx to this day. No, that would be ridiculous. There is one woman I trust: Dr Ruby Dhalla.


This Brampton Liberal MP (and former Bollywood-actress) is the solution to all my woes.

So your star Ontario Fem-P wants back into her dad's business, all the strong female role-models seem to have run off with Tie Domi. Who you gonna call? Dr Ruby.

So your woman, who's presence on the scene is supposed to represent an unwavering commitment to environmental ethics, cuts a deal with Stephane Dion. You're dishearted, disillusioned and disturbed by the various analogies to high school model insert modelled government institution nerd-love. Who you gonna call? Dr. Ruby.

Who will have the gall to stand up to Donald Trump and his smarm-over? Who can, in a state of constant feuding, capture public attention just by the sheer dislikeabilty of both parties? Not Dr Ruby, she's a sweetheart. Maybe that's why they want Alec Baldwin to take over Rosie's spot on the couch. It would still be better if they got Dr Ruby.

Who you gonna call when you need a some sweet, Sikh seduction? Hey! Dr Ruby's not that kinda gal. She's a DOCTOR of Chiroprac-ticality...Sick jerk.

xoxo
-Matt