Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly): MP 'Sexiest', Sask MLA 'Most retired'

[Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly) is our look at the country most commonly known as "Canada" without so much as making a passing-glance at the affairs of the federal government, federal-province relations or any the like. It aims to go, from sea to sea to sea...or as close as possible on any a regular basis.]

First off, awesome Ruby Dhalla news that wouldn't normally make STSTS(N). Who says democracy doesn't work, let alone work sexily? Ruby Dhalla tops the Sexiest Fem-P list according to the Hill Times. Woo. Dr Dhalla, let me just say, I've been pulling for you all along.

Moving on to the general theme, The Economist goes North. The Economist is taking a look at Canada's North to see, what's really going on up there? And in desperate search for an upside to global warming. Our intrepid correspondent remarks how hard it is to pronounce Iqaluit (EEK-ah-lu-IT) and how it led him to learning an Inuktituk swear. Also, there is this adorable polar bear photo:
Give it a look see. It's pretty neat to get some outsider perspective on the whole thing, without the obligator Northern Heritage bit that has so struck Mansbridge's heart. His wonderful, gravitas-pumping heart.

PEIFA (the P.E.I. Fishermen's Association) clearly a 'worker's' organization maintaining strict quotas and distorting the market value of crab, has given up this year. Actually, it doesn't have the funds to pay fishermen not to fish, by buying their licenses. Knowing that can't rely on brazen hooligan Premier Robert Ghiz, they're turning to the Feds to help them retire 20% of the existing licenses out East. Maybe I underestimated Ghiz, he shows up and these pesky quota-pushers are out. Bottom trawlers roll out!

Nova Scotia Lieutenant Governor Mayann Francis has been inspired by the Bay ads and has revived her garden party. I, for one, had little clue that garden parties had any traditional weight in Canada. I thought they were y'know, backyard BBQs, patio parties, and.. KEEGGGGERS. Now I know, you need a representative of the Queen and that catchy song by the soothing songstress in the HBC ad.

This week, Toronto Mayor David Miller caused quite the kerfuffle over some decals on city emergency vehicles. This was quite possibly the biggest non-fight of the year. After campaigning for a day, Miller hears about yesterday's triple casualties and retracts his bid to end the Year-long Yellow Ribbon Campaign. The whole affair was rather silly, most Torontonians were either mildly offended by the whole question, or benevolently indifferent that Miller kept the decals up. Deep thought: if the sticker sticks let it sticks, and Mr Mayor, hope this issue doesn't stick to your Wikipedia entry (legacy - see Colby Cosh, I can be current too).

'Toon-Town (Saskatoon) is now lighter one political heavyweight. Saskatchewan Party MLA Merriman has called for a cessation of all merriment (too easy) as he declares he will not run in the next provincial general election. Lorne Calvert is respectfully bemused. I think, I mean that is the impression he gives me. This is something that would bemuse him but he would be respectful. Well, if you're in the rest of Canada you don't really see him that often and I mean...

British Columbia has decide it was starting to resemble that other Columbia a little too closely and decided to crack-down on Lottery retailers. If you own a convenience store and want to sell scratch-and-wins, bingos and the like, you must now...take a course and be certified. This is a result of a 'scathing report' by the provincial ombudsman. Part of certification is a criminal background check, there goes Pickton's dream of opening a lotto kiosk. Let's hope he doesn't do anything rash.

That's all for this edition. Get lost...

Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly): Hot Albertan Nights and more!

[Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly) is our look at the country most commonly known as "Canada" without so much as making a passing-glance at the affairs of the federal government, federal-province relations or any of the like. It aims to go from sea to sea to sea... or as close as possible on any regular basis.]

With all this talk lately of cumbersome fed-prov relationships, court cases and equalization, everyone seems to have forgotten about the day-to-day in these provinces. Before we get out East, we must start in Alberta.

Alberta has been a hot-bed of news activity in recent weeks. Sure, that doesn't mean we'd pay them too much attention. Of course, there was the Creation Science Museum (oxymoron?) but things changing (evolving?) are always more exciting to follow. Of course, things a-going on in Alberta include the Banff Television Festival. It's a pretty neat event, for real information on that and really neat analysis check out Denis McGrath's blog (I've been reading it forever and have finally seen it validated on CBCNewsworld). In other Albertan entertainment news, Calgary clubs (then bowling alleys) are sure to have been bursting with patrons following Prince Harry's recent much-published brush with a local barmaid and hottie. I'd say half were royal watchers. As for the other half... they were interested in the other half of that couple.

Also Alberta politics! An opening, brief glimmer of political non-uniformity in Wild Rose Country. Ralph Klein's former riding Calgary Elbow fell to the Alberta Liberals. Now Alberta follows PEI on the path to radical political change. Or not. Federal voting intentions are unlikely to change, as CalgaryGrit notes. Heck, who can really tell about provincial fortunes. It is clear we are entering a post-Ralph Klein era. He, apparently, was like Tito. Alberta is about to be swallowed by simmering tension. Again, or not. Now-Premier Ed Stelmach is calling to the Edmonton capital region to harmonize municipal taxes. The Alberta rumour-mill is rife (I blame the post-Prince Harry paparazzos)! Could there be plans for an Edmonton megacity?

In news relating to the Queen of Canada's vice-regal representatives, Lise Thibault, former Quebec Lieutenant-Governor, is under fire from the auditor-general over misrepresented personal spending. Oh, when will those vice-regents get it right. You're not supposed to spend taxpayer money on birthday parties (unless you're Conrad Black, substituting taxpayer for shareholder). You're supposed to spend them on lavish trips to Canada's North. Our beloved north and one of the aforementioned "Seas". Current Governor-General (and avid blogger) Michaelle Jean embarked on her own northern tour today. Here's a schedule if you're in the neighbourhood.

Finally, what's going on out East? Well, other than the ix-nay on the Accorday, many many things. New Brunswick, not a party to federal squabbles right now, is currently seeing many exciting municipal battles. Swinger and local club owner in Moncton (or local and swinger club owner... it may not be wise to assume) calls fire and safety inspections of his club intrusive saying they're "too much". Of course, none of this had to do with Flamin' Moe night at the Venus Club. In unrelated news, a Northern New Brunswick drug and prostitution ring has been broken up. No patrons of the Venus Club were available for comment.

Also, Robert Ghiz has been sworn in a long with his cabinet of incompetent buffoons. Most of which (all) have never been in a government. Some of which are actually from New Brunswick. Have you seen the cesspool of vice lately? (Above) The few (4) who have been elected have benefited from Ghiz's one-sided favouritism. As old friends from his Opposition days they've all been granted cabinet posts. Come on Ghiz, you know at least one of them was a real douche. Admit it.

Also, Dirt Shirt Scandal! Make sure yours is dyed-in-the-...cotton...with real PEI red dirt.

Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly)

[Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly) is our look at the country most commonly known as "Canada" without so much as making a passing-glance at the affairs of the federal government, federal-province relations or any the like. It aims to go, from sea to sea to sea...or as close as possible on any a regular basis.]

Well it looks like it only took one more week for this, our the country is local close-up to actually make it from sea to sea to sea. Needless to say, it seems that one affliction seems to have stricken the land: gambling. From Beautiful BC all the way to the Yukon (that's the Arctic Ocean sunzabidges) and across this land to the Atlantic, Lotto companies are being met with charges of corruption. It seems like the hopes and prayers of many blue-haired church ladies (who just love the rush of imagining that cool 32 mill, and pimpin' their walkers) and the office pool (ready to turn on each others knives a-brandished) are being cheated. Rumours abound that a suspicious number of Lotto retailers have got been laying claim to the booty. In BC this led to the head of the BC Lottery Corp being fired. Atlantic Lotto, which administers lottery services in four provinces is going under review. In Yukon, Western Lotteries Corp promises nothing is amiss. Never have so many ill-gotten riches been so ill-gotten (you all know gambling's a sin). Who can you have faith in if not the Lottery and Gaming Commissions? Faith in that little ticket paying off? What about Atlantic Lotto's new online bingo?

You'd hardly think Alberta was facing a labour shortage with the way babies keep showing up all over the place. Nonetheless, the oil boom out West seems to be met with a baby boom, except what's happening to those babies is another matter. A baby was recently found on a doorstop Medicine Hat, just weeks after the Wal-Mart baby of Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. You know whose good at dealing with surplus babies? Brangelina...remember when they were shooting a movie in Calgary...

In PEI, Liberal Premier-designate has demonstrated that all Libs are alike, mere weeks after his election is facing a patronage scandal. Robert Ghiz, I told you I'd be watching you. Who do you think you are? Not ending the contracs made by the Progressive Conservatives in the past eleven years that have smacked of patronage and massively reappointing those contracts to Liberal friends... Honouring contracts in good-faith. You may be the next in a well-heeled political dynasty, Mr Ghiz but you know nothing about how politics work. Instead you hide behind the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. For shame. The next curiosity is how will he make that damn bridge bring in the Bordens, ten years later...

Speaking of bloated political dynasties, Gary Doer's Manitoba NDP has touched some yow-hot water. It looks like the riding of Wellington had a nomination SCANDAL-LE. Manitoba likes it political drama high-octane so you'll have to bear with me. Point form is the most dramatic:
-Wellington is an inner-city riding in Winnipeg, and traditional NDP stronghold. However, it was exposed due to accusations that previous candidate hadn't payed his dues. Years of service, and the man hasn't payed his dues!
-Joe Chan decides to up-and-run for the nomination, but it turns out he's up-and-running from a criminal past. Kind of like Harrison Ford in The Fugitive but without the chases, Tommy Lee Jones, and he's just not disclosing information as opposed to running from the police.
-Both run in the riding as independents (! , I know...), causing fears that a three-way split with the actual NDP candidate would split the vote and give rise to another party.
-At the last minute an inflammatory pamphlet (! , again) about Chan was sent around. Manitoba: The last time I heard about an inflammatory pamphlet was...Martin Luther's 95 Theses in 1517.
-The NDP candidate won more than half the popular vote. I must admit it seems "Manitoba: Just Do'er" is GOLD west of Kenora.

Almost Sea to Sea, but not yet, to Sea

Across the provinces of this great land, well it's been an election year, and other things have happened.

Let's start off with the most recent province out of the election harangue. That would be Prince Edward Island, where a new Liberal dynasty has ousted the longest serving premier in the province's history. He has been replaced by the Son of Ghiz. If past indications give us anything to hope for, nationally speaking, Ghiz the Younger will need to contend with the expectations of The Dynasty. Just ask Paul Martin the Younger. Premier Ghiz, it should be known: I'm watching you.

In Ontario, ol' Dalton McGuinty has been hopping to the photo-ops in preparation for E-DAY. First, Arnold Schwarzenegger (mentioned earlier) but also David Suzuki who is now the Canadian Tire Guy of Ontario's PowerWise initiative. Furthermore, McGuinty's government is sticking it to the man for the people. *Sigh*, that's what it's all about. His government announced the outlawing of giftcard expiry dates...by making a giftcard expiry date expiry date. Coming soon: no more expiry dates. I guess he was sick of all those half-off kitten giftcards expiring. Man's gotta eat. Ontario is also both angry about MP redistribution under the new Conservative bill (C-59?), saying its under-represented. More on the upcoming Mixed Member Proportional Representation referendum in coming months.

Manitoba, of course, recently saw the election of a record third majority for the New Democrats under Gary Doer. What makes them new at this point? Was it Gary's oh-too-hip slogan "Manitoba: Just Do'er". How are things in the great middle province? Well...stable, so so. Those Nova Scotians seemed to have spread the mumpocalypse up that way but that Human Rights Museum from the Asper's should be show-- GarybettmanbrieflymentionedWinnipegasapossible (maybe, we'll see, it is kinda cold sometimes...) viableNHLcityonHNICMonday??! OHMYGAWD.

Also, the man who looks like he should have some kind of record for being around a long time, Lorne Calvert is sticking it to Harper à la Daniel Williams. The Saskatchewan and Newfoundland (and Labrador) premiers are quite livid with Mr Harper after his equalization scheme 'solved' that pesky fiscal imbalance. Which explains why there is no First Minister's conference as planned, well except for Lorne he showed up. Anyone notice Saskatchewan and NL are the two provinces with the most unique time zone definitions. I believe Saskatchewan has no day light saving's and NL has the half hour. Maybe Williams/Calvert would be more effective if they didn't have a problem coordinating meetings? Ever notice that Williams always says "Newfoundlander and Labradorian", that takes practice.

The Toronto Star will soon be featuring a regular section on Alberta as part of its redesign called Alberta Now. I just thought the only thing more mildly antagonizing to Albertans than not including them at all in this little run-down would be to mention them only as they are in the Toronto Star. I kid, Alberta, because I love. Also, the Pickton trial is not the only thing going on in BC. But it's the only thing you hear about.

But seriously, the Jets back in the 'Peg. Awesome.