Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly): Hot Albertan Nights and more!

[Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly) is our look at the country most commonly known as "Canada" without so much as making a passing-glance at the affairs of the federal government, federal-province relations or any of the like. It aims to go from sea to sea to sea... or as close as possible on any regular basis.]

With all this talk lately of cumbersome fed-prov relationships, court cases and equalization, everyone seems to have forgotten about the day-to-day in these provinces. Before we get out East, we must start in Alberta.

Alberta has been a hot-bed of news activity in recent weeks. Sure, that doesn't mean we'd pay them too much attention. Of course, there was the Creation Science Museum (oxymoron?) but things changing (evolving?) are always more exciting to follow. Of course, things a-going on in Alberta include the Banff Television Festival. It's a pretty neat event, for real information on that and really neat analysis check out Denis McGrath's blog (I've been reading it forever and have finally seen it validated on CBCNewsworld). In other Albertan entertainment news, Calgary clubs (then bowling alleys) are sure to have been bursting with patrons following Prince Harry's recent much-published brush with a local barmaid and hottie. I'd say half were royal watchers. As for the other half... they were interested in the other half of that couple.

Also Alberta politics! An opening, brief glimmer of political non-uniformity in Wild Rose Country. Ralph Klein's former riding Calgary Elbow fell to the Alberta Liberals. Now Alberta follows PEI on the path to radical political change. Or not. Federal voting intentions are unlikely to change, as CalgaryGrit notes. Heck, who can really tell about provincial fortunes. It is clear we are entering a post-Ralph Klein era. He, apparently, was like Tito. Alberta is about to be swallowed by simmering tension. Again, or not. Now-Premier Ed Stelmach is calling to the Edmonton capital region to harmonize municipal taxes. The Alberta rumour-mill is rife (I blame the post-Prince Harry paparazzos)! Could there be plans for an Edmonton megacity?

In news relating to the Queen of Canada's vice-regal representatives, Lise Thibault, former Quebec Lieutenant-Governor, is under fire from the auditor-general over misrepresented personal spending. Oh, when will those vice-regents get it right. You're not supposed to spend taxpayer money on birthday parties (unless you're Conrad Black, substituting taxpayer for shareholder). You're supposed to spend them on lavish trips to Canada's North. Our beloved north and one of the aforementioned "Seas". Current Governor-General (and avid blogger) Michaelle Jean embarked on her own northern tour today. Here's a schedule if you're in the neighbourhood.

Finally, what's going on out East? Well, other than the ix-nay on the Accorday, many many things. New Brunswick, not a party to federal squabbles right now, is currently seeing many exciting municipal battles. Swinger and local club owner in Moncton (or local and swinger club owner... it may not be wise to assume) calls fire and safety inspections of his club intrusive saying they're "too much". Of course, none of this had to do with Flamin' Moe night at the Venus Club. In unrelated news, a Northern New Brunswick drug and prostitution ring has been broken up. No patrons of the Venus Club were available for comment.

Also, Robert Ghiz has been sworn in a long with his cabinet of incompetent buffoons. Most of which (all) have never been in a government. Some of which are actually from New Brunswick. Have you seen the cesspool of vice lately? (Above) The few (4) who have been elected have benefited from Ghiz's one-sided favouritism. As old friends from his Opposition days they've all been granted cabinet posts. Come on Ghiz, you know at least one of them was a real douche. Admit it.

Also, Dirt Shirt Scandal! Make sure yours is dyed-in-the-...cotton...with real PEI red dirt.

Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly)

[Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly) is our look at the country most commonly known as "Canada" without so much as making a passing-glance at the affairs of the federal government, federal-province relations or any the like. It aims to go, from sea to sea to sea...or as close as possible on any a regular basis.]

Well it looks like it only took one more week for this, our the country is local close-up to actually make it from sea to sea to sea. Needless to say, it seems that one affliction seems to have stricken the land: gambling. From Beautiful BC all the way to the Yukon (that's the Arctic Ocean sunzabidges) and across this land to the Atlantic, Lotto companies are being met with charges of corruption. It seems like the hopes and prayers of many blue-haired church ladies (who just love the rush of imagining that cool 32 mill, and pimpin' their walkers) and the office pool (ready to turn on each others knives a-brandished) are being cheated. Rumours abound that a suspicious number of Lotto retailers have got been laying claim to the booty. In BC this led to the head of the BC Lottery Corp being fired. Atlantic Lotto, which administers lottery services in four provinces is going under review. In Yukon, Western Lotteries Corp promises nothing is amiss. Never have so many ill-gotten riches been so ill-gotten (you all know gambling's a sin). Who can you have faith in if not the Lottery and Gaming Commissions? Faith in that little ticket paying off? What about Atlantic Lotto's new online bingo?

You'd hardly think Alberta was facing a labour shortage with the way babies keep showing up all over the place. Nonetheless, the oil boom out West seems to be met with a baby boom, except what's happening to those babies is another matter. A baby was recently found on a doorstop Medicine Hat, just weeks after the Wal-Mart baby of Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. You know whose good at dealing with surplus babies? Brangelina...remember when they were shooting a movie in Calgary...

In PEI, Liberal Premier-designate has demonstrated that all Libs are alike, mere weeks after his election is facing a patronage scandal. Robert Ghiz, I told you I'd be watching you. Who do you think you are? Not ending the contracs made by the Progressive Conservatives in the past eleven years that have smacked of patronage and massively reappointing those contracts to Liberal friends... Honouring contracts in good-faith. You may be the next in a well-heeled political dynasty, Mr Ghiz but you know nothing about how politics work. Instead you hide behind the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. For shame. The next curiosity is how will he make that damn bridge bring in the Bordens, ten years later...

Speaking of bloated political dynasties, Gary Doer's Manitoba NDP has touched some yow-hot water. It looks like the riding of Wellington had a nomination SCANDAL-LE. Manitoba likes it political drama high-octane so you'll have to bear with me. Point form is the most dramatic:
-Wellington is an inner-city riding in Winnipeg, and traditional NDP stronghold. However, it was exposed due to accusations that previous candidate hadn't payed his dues. Years of service, and the man hasn't payed his dues!
-Joe Chan decides to up-and-run for the nomination, but it turns out he's up-and-running from a criminal past. Kind of like Harrison Ford in The Fugitive but without the chases, Tommy Lee Jones, and he's just not disclosing information as opposed to running from the police.
-Both run in the riding as independents (! , I know...), causing fears that a three-way split with the actual NDP candidate would split the vote and give rise to another party.
-At the last minute an inflammatory pamphlet (! , again) about Chan was sent around. Manitoba: The last time I heard about an inflammatory pamphlet was...Martin Luther's 95 Theses in 1517.
-The NDP candidate won more than half the popular vote. I must admit it seems "Manitoba: Just Do'er" is GOLD west of Kenora.