Toronto No Longer 'facebook' Capital of World

Where once Toronto was able to claim it was the facebook Capital of the World, it has been usurped. Fortunately, it has gone to our former colonial overlords in London. While Toronto's facebook dominance coloured the social utility with various urban concerns and 'facade saving' expeditions (from Sam The Record Man to CityTV trucks to the Sheppard Subway line to'Let's Resurrect Honest Ed'), now Londoner's concerns will come to the fore.

Finally we can all hear about how much everyone hates the 2012 Olympic logo and be emotional scarred by the image of Lisa Simpson performing oral 'favours' just in time for the big release Simpsons Movie. Maybe we'll hear about the next coffee shop-bound single mom who will take over the world with her series of novels sooner, or something about the Queen.

THE INTERNET WAR: 'Ask' Won't Tell

[We've all heard about the threats the vast series of tubes called The Internet faces on a daily basis. For the most part we don't understand them. After all, isn't 'Neutrality' reserved for those Swiss pansies? In the tradition of Marshall McLuhan and the "X-Files", this semi-irregular segment probes threats to the internet. More importantly we will underline how unstoppable The Internet is in...THE INTERNET WAR!]

It has been a while, fellow revolutionaries, since I have commented on the State of the Revolution. This is hardly due to a lack of material (the talking heads of the Reactionaries and the Doubters will gab and gab) but our faith in the Glorious Netscape Revolution of 1995 has held firm. The Vanguard of the Revolution has been under attack. Google, say the Reactionaries, is 'bottoms' when it comes to privacy. The company has come under fire for keeping searches tucked away in a supercomputer--a supercomputer that kind of looks like that room at the end of Raiders of the Last Ark. It seems Privacy International (or Privintern) fails to realize that the Internet is not about 'privacy'.

'Privacy' is a pitiful notion whose heyday was before the Glorious Revolution of 1995. The Internet is about communication, breaking down the walls that restrict information and letting these autonomous abstractions roam wherever they may. Except if that information is music and it roams into onto the hard-drive of a 14 year old girl. But if it roams into the hands of a potential employer, that's the Glorious Tubes @ Work. There is no reason to feel any shame about your Jell-O fighting past, in fact, you were good at it . If your employer can't appreciate that, well then, they can't appreciate you. It would've been a great Christmas Party. Everyone seems so worried about 'THE MAN' finding out their personal information. There is no MAN. It's just us, Revolutionaries, running the world from the blue light of a computer screen.

The only thing more frightening for the Privacy Junkies, more than keeping their Truth from their potential employers, is keeping it from Corporations Who Sell Things and Advertise.

No revolutionary abstraction has gotten as much heat for this as 'facebook' (NO! I WILL NOT CAPITALIZE, I WILL SPELL HOW THE CAPITALISTS TELL ME TO!) facebook is a social networking site where people post their information for all to see. But it is not simply a way for Torontonians to wear badges of civic-action through group-joining. What's the difference between you showing everyone in the world 'Where You've Been' and the guy who wrote that application selling that high-quality information that would otherwise cost hundreds of thousands of dollars for a market research firm to collect to Expedia, Travelocity, and Priceline?

It looks like the only people who should be pissed are market-research companies. The Internet is creating the climate for Perfect Information that makes Markets efficient. Finally everyone's most base and suppressed desire will be known to The Supplier who can create the perfect Jell-O fighting vacation to the Yucatan peninsula you never knew you wanted, until The Internet made it all possible through AGGREGATION.

KNOW THY SELF? Never better than The Internet knows you.

But! Ask.com, a paltry revolutionary compared to the Vanguard-Google, says no that outdated 20th Century notion that 'privacy' is worth something. 'We will protect your privacy.' says Ask.com. They have already posed as the Vanguard before, now they reveal their true REACTIONARY COLOURS by trying to revive archaic 'privacy'. AskEraser? What are they trying to 'erase'? The Revolution, that's what!

We will not let them! Crush the revisionists! Long Live The Revolution! One! Nine! Nine! Five!

What's a Bessarion? Closed, that's what.

Toronto City Hall is rife with politicking this week. First we were dealing with what amounts to the fall out of the City of Toronto Act that gave Toronto new 'revenue tools' (avenues for taxation to maintain...avenues). Now, we are dealing with the fallout of the success of a procedural waiting game initiated by councilors when they decided to 'Wait and see' what the provincial elections would bring. Great. So, what is the result of all this fallout? An overdone metaphor? Well for Sexy Transit Girls, it means the end of a crush on Adam Giambrone, who has declared he may/will be cutting service on the Sheppard Subway Line, a hike in fees (a whole moose/quarter!) and purging bus routes.

For those outside Toronto, let's take a look back on the Sheppard Line. And for those in Toronto, a look at the Sheppard Line for the first time.

What needs to be known: The Sheppard line was built in the 1990s under Mike Harris (Ontario preem) and Mel Lastman (furniture salesman er snow hater er Mayor). The 'subway to nowhere' was always considered underused/pointless. Of course I'm sure the people who lived in Don Mills didn't think so. I'm looking at you Cousin Sal. Admittedly, this whole thing stinks of politics, though Giambrone swears it is not. If he's being honest, he's off his 'brone.

A subway is largely considered, something you don't open if you don't need. However, closing it has awoken a slightly peeved T.O. zeitgeist, one that always sits next to the homeless guy, always is late for their train, always has something spilled on them, and always gets delayed by a health emergency and has to take the shuttle bus all the way to FREEKIN' DUNDAS STATION.

Also, as is very Torontonian at this point, there are many facebook groups to save the Sheppard line.

UPDATE: Two more.

Rabies is all 'la rage'

After my recent illness (I'm eating solids!), it's good to know there will be something new for hypochondriac Canucks to worry about: RABIES! or is it is known in French 'la rage'. It would seem there is an outbreak of rabies among the raccoon and forest critter population on the Québec-Vermont border. Thankfully something good has come out of this, I learned the word 'épizootie'. Epizooty, as is the English equivalent's appellation, is an outbreak of disease among a certain species of animals. Now back to causing a sensationalist worry to frighten all the hypochondriacs back under their beds! If the rabies epizooty were to make it to Montreal, the city's wooded Mont Royal park would become a hotbed of raccoon disease! Somebody tell Bert! THE RABID 'COONS ARE COMING!
ANYONE WEARING A COONSKIN IS A RABID-COONZOMBIE!

In other Québec enviro-news, there is a serious blue-green algae problem that's a-stirring. It has caused a ban on swimming in the Saguenay region. You do not want blue-green algae in your itsybitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini. Though I'm sure you look great in it.

Woe! Woe!

Dear readers,

I am sick. Real sick. Real, ick. This means lots of fluids and the like, though blogging has not yet figured into my recovery. Thankfully it is not Haligonian mumps, flight-induced tuberculosis, or SARS. Just good gastroenteritis. If you've gotten the shits in the last couple of days, live in Toronto, and want to be able to claim you were at the epicentre of the Shits Epidemic '07 drop a line in the comments box. Until then, lots of sleep for me.

That is all.
xoxo
-Matt

An (Un)Black Day.

Oh readers, I want not for news of dear Conrad's fate.

The Globe reported yesterday news that I was extremely shocked to hear. Lord Black is going down as the scapegoat for all of the white-collar criminals that got away, because they weren't members of the British Senate or arts and crafts mavens (if MALITM BAAN was around when Martha Stewart was convicted, I'd be a-stirring then too. She is a handsome woman.).

Black faces up to thirty-five years in prison. If he does serve this maximum, 62-year old Black will be ninety-seven when he comes out. And poor. This conviction is putting a serious strain on our relationship. Can't the jury see that?

And what did they convict him on? Obstruction of justice and three measly counts of mail fraud. It's completely ludicrous.

Black's lawyers have already started piecing together the materials for an appeal. Their star witness?

Me. I'm still here for you, Conrad, and I always will be.

*sniff*

Ed Mirvish dies at 92

Honest Eds
Originally uploaded by Bostich

'Honest Ed' Mirvish died this morning, and the obituaries have been popping up all over the media. Ed Mirvish is known for a lot of great things -- being a hard-nosed business man, safe guarding live theatre in Toronto, charity work, turkey, and my kind of cornball humour-- but most importantly he saw himself as a citizen of Toronto.

A lot of people say that doesn't happen to often. As they keep those too-many lights burning tonight (Ed wouldn't let them dim for a second, even in his memory), remember a bargain, remember a show, and remember a chuckle.

The Galaxy Needs You!

No, this is not another post about how you'll be able to lick Darth Vader's behind thanks to the US Postal Service. No, fair reader (-- or soulless abyss that is the Internet, drain on my soul and free time), the Galaxy really does need you, for SCIENCE!

As it turns out the work of painstakingly classifying the galaxies of the infinite blackness of Space is just too tedious for the big brains of the professional scientific community. They'd much rather be weighing black holes. So these Poindexters and Poindextresses have enlisted the greatest tool mankind has ever known for the purpose of classifying mountains and mountains of otherwise undecipherable, unsurmountable and nearly infinite data: Web 2.0.

New Mexican (?) astronomers (who of course have their degree in astrophysics, not the by-mail Miss Cleo service) have put together Galaxy Zoo and are enlisting volunteers to sift through the wormholes, star systems and nebulas and tell them what's what. The monstrous 'tag cloud' that ensues will hopefully give them more information on how the universe is shaped, in turn how the universe was formed, and what Exit to get off to find God's House.

Or, volunteers will be massively distracted once they discover a constellation that kinda looks like David Hasselhoff eating a hamburger off the floor...

UPDATE: There's a facebook group.

Kyoto vs. Cheddar - Political Pet Showdown

Inspired in part by CalgaryGrit's open call for summer competition suggestions and a well-placed e-mail, I have decided to tackle the question on all Canadians' minds as they fire up the grill: Who would win? Stéphane Dion's dog Kyoto or Stephen Harper's cat, Cheddar?

First let's meet the competitors:


Kyoto: After the Liberals were sacked in 2006, Dion adopted the white husky and named it after the Kyoto Protocol. Kyoto is an instinctual killer who's bound only to his master by the subversion of his pack-instincts through domestication. The dog received much buzz once Dion won the Liberal leadership, with some arguing that the dog had acquired a greater profile than his master. Kyoto also maintains his own blog with a tendency to echo Conservative talking points in both English and French, including bashing France (in both English and French). I find this curious.


Cheddar: It is unclear whether Cheddar is named after a town, a cheese, or an international treaty. What is known about Cheddar's checkered (marbled?, ed.) past, is that this cat walked the hard streets of Ottawa from its first day breaking out of Momma Cheddar's litter. Those dark, cold nights taught Cheddar the hard ways of canal-hopping, picking at discarded Beaver Tails, hustling tourists and paying up to always-collectin' civil servants. Cheddar was adopted into the Harper household once former cat, Cabot, died of excitement of moving from Stornaway to 24 Sussex. He is Laureen Harper's lovemuffin.

THE FIGHT
Cheddar comes out of the gate swinging...er, scratching. Kyoto is marching purposefully -- in circles? Cheddar lands a first scratch: 'Your master is not a leader!'. The judges award points. Kyoto lifts its head: 'Your master is a liar!', but Cheddar is too low to the ground and scampers under Kyoto's belly. Cheddar then avoids Kyoto until the judges insist he do something, dodging left and right expertly.
'Your master is out of touch with Canadians.'
'No, your master is out of touch with Canadians!'
'You're a prop meant to humanize your master for the voting public!'
'No, you're a prop meant to humanize your master for the voting public!'

Hours later...

'You were adopted to overcome your master's tragic loss'
'No, you were adopted to overcome your master's tragic loss'
With this, Cheddar scampers under Kyoto. And then, just before he's about to give Kyoto a lesson from the Bob Barker school in pet-care -- ROBOMANATEENo matter what, Robo-Manatee wins. Kyoto and Cheddar are off to meet Pat the Posthumous Policy Pooch, Mackenzie King's ol'friend.

For more on political pets go here.

Keep Your Fingers Crossed! Black Verdict Pending...

This afternoon, readers, my faith in God was reaffirmed. Black is not guilty. No, Lord Conrad Black is in fact, still innocent. Because he has not been proven guilty. Because the jury has yet to make up their minds.

The Globe reported early this evening that the jury told Right Honourable Amy St. Eve that it could not reach a unanimous verdict on one or more of the charges laid against Lord Black and the other defendants, of whom I (and the rest of the media) do not care about.

(Fine. John Boultbee, Peter Atkinson and Mark Kipnis. Happy?)

The jury, after delivering its note, asked the Judge to "please advise" them on how to let Conrad off the hook without having lead Prosecutor Eric Sussman burst into hot, justice-serving tears.

Both Sussman and the defense jumped into action after the note was read: Sussman begged (on his knees, like a twat) for the jury to deliver a partial verdict, while defense attorney Ronald Safer valiantly asked that it be recognized that the jury has been working very hard and simply cannot reach a verdict.

As I've said before, that jury is chock-full of middle-aged women. They can't spend hours in a deliberation room drooling over pictures of Conrad Black and find the time to write an apology to Sussman for ending his career. I know I certainly can't.

***

Readers, this is breaking news. I am interrupting my string of nonsense to tell you that my dear co-host has mentioned that the jury might be hung. (Laughs.)

***

Readers, I have just been told what a "hung jury" means. No, this is not innuendo. This smells like victory. They actually interrupted Canadian Idol to serve this up. Jury deliberations are supposed to continue Wednesday, but I'll see if there's anything coming through the billions of interconnected tubes that make up the internet and tell you tomorrow. Sleep light, darlings. Tomorrow night might be cause for celebration.

Unless, of course, you're a Hollinger stockholder.

It's 'Onley' On Top

STEPHEN HARPER has appointed Ontario's new Lieutenant-Governor David Onley. To be clear, the Prime Minister appoints all Lieutenant-Governors and will appoint the next Governor-General, not Dalton McGuinty or Queen Elizabeth II. The former CityTV anchor is being heralded for 'integrity' and 'honesty'. I thought what was most important was having a nice smile. Harper has also recently appointed the new Québec Lieutenant-Governor.

Of course, this announcement has received no fanfare, and brings about the all-important questions: 'who was the last Lieutenant-Governor of Ontario?' and 'what's a Lieutenant-Governor?' or, my personally favourite, 'why is it Leff-tenant?'

1. The Hon James K Bartleman
2. Representative of the Monarchy (Queen of Canada Elizabeth II) who gives royal assent to provincial laws, occasional adviser to the premier, promoter of charitable causes.
3. Because it's Canada, rather than taking the French pronunciation, English Canada insists on the British pronunciation. Yes, that does mean the Americans pronounce it the French way because of French involvement in the American War of Independence. No, they did not realize it during the Freedom Fries debacle - if they had it would be rightenant.

Note: One GAM commenter noted that Onley has combatted a physical disability this, like being from Haiti for G-G Micheale Jean, makes him a minority. Said commenter also laments that these 'minorities' keep getting appointed instead of the 'common people'. The commenter noted Onley's physical disability from when he had polio as a child as something that singled him out from us 'common people', not his religious beliefs (Born Again) or that he is a white male. I hope he doesn't find out about this:

In awkward headlines, the GAM gives us this gem: ONTARIO TO SEND HUNDREDS OF AUTISTIC CHILDREN TO CAMP - it's not as bad as it sounds. Though I've also seen it with 'Dalton' replacing 'Ontario'.

S2S2S(N): Obsolecence Edition

[Sea to Sea to Sea (Nearly) is our look at the country most commonly known as "Canada" without so much as making a passing-glance at the affairs of the federal government, federal-province relations or any the like. It aims to go, from sea to sea to sea...or as close as possible on any a regular basis.]

The Essence of Obsolescence is being replaced by a machine. An unthinking, always on, clap on/off machine, just ask a retired bowling-ball returner. Anyway, what use is it for me to scrounge the dingy corners of the internet (and what dingier corners are there than those occupied by the Vast Canadian Media Conspiracy?) when you can see all of the country all of the time.

In an effort to assuage those who think the CBC is a propaganda tool, CBCNEWS.ca has positioned itself as the unblinking eye on Canada. Big Mother Corp if you will. Tune in here for a LIVE webcam of your street. Maybe if you use some triangulation you can up your blog profile by posting some kind of signage in the webcam's sights. Crap, I've revealed my master plan.

Which Canadian city will become the new Lonelygirl15? Saskatoon, I'm watchin' you.

Finally, a Vancouver Barbecue NOT Cancelled Due to Rain

The Globe and Mail reported this morning that what would be the 25th annual British Columbia Conservatives Barbecue (or the BCCB) was cancelled due to the unavailability of our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper.

Though the PM is really too busy to make the event, other obstacles rose to challenge the annual event. Due to the Federal Accountability Act, corporate sponsors can no longer foot the bill of the popular barbecue, raising the need for more private donor dollars. And, of course, there is always the threat of heavy rainfall with a slight chance of tree-hugging British Columbians.

Senator Gerry St. Germain, the organizer of the event, seemed disheartened by the news. Citing that the barbecue has "historically... gone, pretty well, every year," the Senator even stated that he would front some of his own money for the event, a move that he has done in the past. And they say the Conservative Party isn't generous!

St. Germain isn't the only disappointed Tory in the west of the west. Dona Cadman, the widow of Surrey North MP Chuck Cadman, "will miss the barbecue," the Globe reports, stating that "You got to see the Prime Minister in a different light."

I suppose grilled as opposed to roasted puppy does lighten the mood.

Skinny Girl Watch

It looks like Al Gore the Threequel is not the only American sub-celebrity in trouble with law. Nicole Ritchie is on her way to jail, and preggers! With Hillary Duff's ex-boyfriend Joel Madden's baby. Joel Madden tapped that? After Hillary Duff? Well, they're going to be married which, in Hollywood, makes everything better.

More Canadian-ly, Chantal Kreviazuk has smacked-down Avril Lavigne's sing-uh performing-songwriter status in a recent issue of Perfoming Songwriter Magazine. (woo! was the subscription clutch!) Chantal will not sully art by taking Avril to court, instead she will let this hang over Avril's career for the five seconds everyone will remember it as an unsubstantiated claim. Somewhere in Napanee, ON, a young Avril fan is passionately defending Avril:
-Oh yea, well Avril doesn't even write her songs, some singer lady that was on Canadian Idol last year said so!
-Oh yea, well...She's just a Sk8er! She needs help spelling! I'll be your girlfriend!
-OK, she's awesome.
Chantal Kreviazuk does have more cred than Sass Jordan. She is married to Rain, the dude from Our Lady Peace. And OLP was totally awesome the summer of Grade 7. Oh, and Avril's hurt. We'll see her in an L.A. court next week on a DUI, then we'll care...

Happy Independence Day, amigos Americanos!

It's Independence Day for our friends in the United States. Not likely you needed me to tell you that if you're reading this. The Fourth of July is probably the single most reknowned national holiday in the world. That and Bastille Day. Although you're only allowed to celebrate one according to Bill O'Reilly.

For those who've been unconscious for the last few hours, here's what's up this Fourth of July:

-Illegal Immigrants and Legal Immigrants: As they arrive in torrents no one knows what to do about either of them. Reform the laws, 'amnesty' is an evil word, they steal jobs, we love to hire them, etc.
-Bush-Putin talk. Snazzy pictures are taken at Kennebunkport at what the EEEKonomist is calling the 'Lobster Summit', Bush and Putin were looking for some kind of agreement for nuclear armament related issues. I insist on the Robo-Manatee. Putin insists he'll shove it down your throat if you so much as look at the Czec Republic the wrong way..uh, and there will cooperation to take advantage of the pluses of nuclear energy.
-Soon, Americans will be buying and driving Chinese cars.
-Micheal Moore has a new movie.
-There were fireworks, cakes, flags and speeches. That's for those who've been about for longer.

More seriously, the United States remains the City on the Hill the world around. That's part of what makes it so gosh-darn fun to look on the shady side of the Hill. As much as we've obsessed in Canada since forever about our own identity, the prospects of absorption or separation, Americans have their own obsessions.

If you've read an editorial page in the last 15 years, you've been seeing a search for a new place in the world after the defeat of the Soviet Union. An obsession with being either too much like Weimar Germany (that's the Germany Hitler rose to power in legally) or the falling Roman Empire. Or being like the Galactic Republic. That one shows up less. Beyond naval-gazing there's the constant over the shoulder glances at China.

Oh, and the ol'Red, White and Booze.

Anyway, keep it up U-S-of-A, just don't point it at me.

xoxo
Canadian (singular)

An Inconvenient Bust

So what I've been saying is true, readers: Environmentalism is the first step on a long, hard road of drug abuse.

The Globe reported this morning that Al Gore, Mother Earth's Golden-boy, let his not-so-golden boy out on a pot-smoking, pill-popping, Prius-speeding rampage just south of Los Angeles. His son, Al Gore III, was charged Wednesday for drug possession after being stopped in said Prius.

A search of the hybrid found "a small amount of marijuana, along with prescription drugs including Valium, Xanax, Vicodin and Adderall." Al, if you wanted to show the public that you can still have fun in a Prius, I'm sure there's a better way to do it than this.

What I really love about this story is the Globe's constant reference to the fact that Al III was driving a Prius as opposed to a normal car:

"...he was stopped for allegedly speeding in his hybrid Toyota Prius..."
"Al Gore III... was driving his environmentally friendly car at about 160 kilometres per hour..."
Even the story's headline - "Al Gore's son arrested for drugs, speeding in hybrid" - is good for a laugh.

Al Gore III was booked (sucka!) into Santa Ana's Inmate Reception Center on $20,000 bail. He even (gasp!) had to share a holding cell with an unknown number of inmates. Though the counting ability of Reuters network staff cannot be certain, one thing was made very clear: "There are no special privileges," said Orange County Sheriff's spokesman Jim Amormino.

Tell that to Paris, Jim.

CityTV (not there) EVERYWHERE

After Lauren and I unsuccessfully tried to butt Ted Rogers in his bid to buy the CityTV stations from CTVglobemedia, humiliation is followed by frustration. As awesome as it would've been for us to take over Breakfast Television Toronto (and then, THE WORLD), it looks like it was not in the cards (or stars, or deified belly-button lint) for us. Now, CTV has unequivocally stated that the CityTV really-cool-newsvan-stickin'-outtawall is going to be removed.

Spurred on by the success of the Save the 'Sam the Record Man' sign campaign, facebookin' Torontonians have decided to come to the rescue. Yes, facebook has become the rapid-response Toronto Heritage Fund. As The Toronto Star noted: Toronto is the facebook capital of the world. It seems that Torontonians are all-too eager to use their ability to massively click buttons in unison to promote keeping old signs up as ownership changes hands. I love public space and all, heck, I love civic activism, but what if CTVglobemedia is going to use the space for something else really cool? Hahaha, I kill me... It'll probably be another billboard à la Yonge and Bloor. Or a huge poster of Tanya Kim and Ben Mulroney. Ugh.

The question remains: when push comes to shove, who will have the Skydomes (Roger Centres?) to start 'Save the Zanzibar store front!!!1'?

Report on Bidness: Slim gets Gates, Pensioners get Bell, You get Taxed

Queue the Minutemen. While Canadians are taking top speech-writing and campaign positions for the Republicans from Washington to Shwarzenegger's Gahlifornia, as jobs are outsourced to Thomas Friedman's Bangalore, it looks like Mexicans aren't only taking the jobs nobody wants anymore. It looks like it's 'Slim'-pickings for Microsoft founder Bill Gates who has been dethroned as World Richest Rich Person. That's what you get for giving it all away!

The new Richest Rich Person (no, I haven't yet found his e-mail address for solicitations) is Carlos Slim, Mexican financial dynamo and owner of America Movil. Slim's rise has been meteoric, because that's a word they use a lot to describe really fast rises: He has gone from Latin America's Richest to overtaking Warren Buffet (formerly Mr Gates' #2 - uh, I mean the second richest...) in April and now Gates. Besides having the name of a cowpoke, Slim's wealth is equal to 8% of Mexico's GDP. No word on whether he likes Eminem.

Before we all get high and mighty that US jobs are going to us foreigners (MUHAHAHAHA), Canadians are not above trying to protecting our jobs. In the recent 'hollowing out of Canada' debacle that has just concluded. An all-Canadian (wave the flag, queue the Maple Leaf Forever or something, Darren) merger between Telus and BCE, lovingly named 'Belus' like a celebrity couple, was averted. Instead the company is now majority owned by Canadians (as was always its CRTC-ordained fate) and a group of American private-equitizers. So, Mr Gates notwithstanding, Americans can be proud they've managed to break a record this week (this is the largest private equity buy out EVER, ever, ever), and we will smugly take pride that it couldn't happened without us. Courtesy the EEEKonomist.

Tony's gonna be pissed...if he's still alive. A story about New Jersey and turnpikes! I've already made a stereotypical Soprano's reference! Before I run out my welcome with the locals, I'll try get through this. The E-Z Pass(American 'Zee') is a new computer-aided innovation that makes getting ou-er, around a lot easier on the highway. For those who live in the modestly named GREATer Toronto Area, you may be familiar with the Express Toll Route transponder, it's much the same. You drive zip-bloop-bleep you're charged the toll. Will the ETR-economy is not a good buzzword. For those who are angry about David Miller's newly sanctioned land tax (GTAers?), the NYT presents a story about all the taxes you DON'T know about in the EZ Pass Economy.

Alright, let's never do this again...until next time.

THE INTERNET WAR: Wikipedia? FUTUREpedia!

[We've all heard about the threats the vast series of tubes called The Internet faces on a daily basis. For the most part we don't understand them. After all, isn't 'Neutrality' reserved for those Swiss pansies? In the tradition of Marshall McLuhan and the "X-Files", this segment probes threats to the internet. More importantly we will underline how unstoppable The Internet is in...THE INTERNET WAR!]

Ah, readers, I have stumbled out of bed - still smarting from my post-Canada Day hangover - to steal Matt's segment for a sec while I serve up a juicy piece of news (which, to be fair, is two days old).

The events surrounding the deaths of wrestler Chris Benoit and his wife and son were strange enough, but then (insert suspenseful music) the internet got involved.

In particular, the ever-popular, controversial encyclopedia website Wikipedia, where news of his wife Nancy's death surfaced fourteen hours before the bodies were discovered by authorities. The article had been remedied to say that, according to the Globe, "the Canadian wrestler missed a match Saturday night due to 'the death of his wife Nancy.'"

This has sparked yet another brouhaha over Wikipedia, the credibility of its articles and contributors, and its unstoppable power to provide you with filler information on History essays that you have to have done by the next day... ahem.

While they have their little spat, I would like to turn the attention of you intelligent readerfolk to what I can't believe Globe writer Cassandra Szklarski failed to mention (perhaps she was trying to spell her own surname?) - Wikipedia can effectively predict the future.

Alright, so it may be the very near, or shall we say, immediate future, but its the future nonetheless. To all you Wikipedia naysayers, I say...



Lucky for you, this entry isn't real.

...yet.