The Globe reported early this evening that the jury told Right Honourable Amy St. Eve that it could not reach a unanimous verdict on one or more of the charges laid against Lord Black and the other defendants, of whom I (and the rest of the media) do not care about.
(Fine. John Boultbee, Peter Atkinson and Mark Kipnis. Happy?)
The jury, after delivering its note, asked the Judge to "please advise" them on how to let Conrad off the hook without having lead Prosecutor Eric Sussman burst into hot, justice-serving tears.
Both Sussman and the defense jumped into action after the note was read: Sussman begged (on his knees, like a twat) for the jury to deliver a partial verdict, while defense attorney Ronald Safer valiantly asked that it be recognized that the jury has been working very hard and simply cannot reach a verdict.
As I've said before, that jury is chock-full of middle-aged women. They can't spend hours in a deliberation room drooling over pictures of Conrad Black and find the time to write an apology to Sussman for ending his career. I know I certainly can't.
***
Readers, this is breaking news. I am interrupting my string of nonsense to tell you that my dear co-host has mentioned that the jury might be hung. (Laughs.)
***
Readers, I have just been told what a "hung jury" means. No, this is not innuendo. This smells like victory. They actually interrupted Canadian Idol to serve this up. Jury deliberations are supposed to continue Wednesday, but I'll see if there's anything coming through the billions of interconnected tubes that make up the internet and tell you tomorrow. Sleep light, darlings. Tomorrow night might be cause for celebration.
Unless, of course, you're a Hollinger stockholder.
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