San Francisco's "best-friends" may find new ban poses sticky situation.

Yesterday, four-legged San Franciscans and their owners found themselves hard-pressed to find a solution to their city's new plastic grocery bag ban.

City Officials believe that this move will spur on other conservation methods in the Californian peninsula. They are already claiming that the ban is an excellent step to redcuing greenhouse gas emissions, citing that the average 200 million bags they use contribute to about 4.2 million kilograms of carbon dioxide getting released into the air.

Though environmental groups and pinkos alike are lauding the plan, many of the town's inhabitants, dog-owners especially, are wondering what to do when their plastic-bag supplies run dry.

It is projected that San Francisco canines produce a whopping 4.2 million kilograms of excrement in a given year. An amount that, without the proper provisions, could be catastrophic for the City By the Bay.

"It's not that I don't want to help the environment," said Castro resident Mark Knobb as life partner Derek plays with their 3-year-old Boodle (that's bulldog-poodle), "But it's not like I'm going to pick up after Sassy here with resusable canvas totes - that's just ridiculous."

Ross Mikarimi, who introduced the ban in the city legislature, was available for comment but could only muster a slew of derogatory remarks, which this publication has tastefully chosen to omit.

Following suit on the ban is the small Manitoban town of Leaf Rapids, as is the copycat British Columbian region of Rossland. There is no word, however, on how their respective governments will deal with the inevitable dog problems, not to mention those whiny bastards at OPEC.