THE INTERNET WAR: MySpace strikes back!

[We've all heard about the threats the vast series of tubes called The Internet faces on a daily basis. For the most part we don't understand them. After all, isn't 'Neutrality' reserved for those Swiss pansies? In the tradition of Marshall McLuhan and the "X-Files", this semi-irregular segment probes threats to the internet. More importantly we will underline how unstoppable The Internet is in...THE INTERNET WAR!]

Many of you, Faithful Internauts, may have heard of the Ontario Provincial Government banning the use of Facebook, MySpace and other social networking during company/taxpayer time. That means no blogging in the workspace, no pictures of the boss at the Christmas party on the facebook, and damnit no Billy Talent.

Well Billy Talent and the ever resilient Vastly Superior Communications Technology that is The Internet struck back. Productivity in any and ALL of its forms have slowly been being strangled by the noodley appendages of The Internet. In response to managers, bosses, teachers and the outcome obsessed desk jockeys across the nation (Reactionaries! Each and all!), MySpace renewed its assault. Yesterday, a new page was turned in the Glorious Netscape Revolution of 1995, a bold offensive was taken on Canadian soil: MySpace Canada launched.

You may be saying to yourself, naive but noble Internaut, how could a web site open in one country? Why would a web site, never once limited by borders or chilly-palmed customs agents, pay respect to any national boundary? After all isn't that the purpose of the Vastly Superior Communications Technology that is The Internet, to impregnate every border and allow human potential to truly be realised?

Ah, but you fail to see, alas I almost fell prey to the same narrow-mindedness, the SHEER BRILLIANCE of the Vastly Superior Communications Technology that is The Internet! It is using the last vestiges of the Reactionaries to its own (far nobler) ends. It is personalizing it's assault to each nation, language is no barrier! LA LANGUE N'EST PLUS UNE DéFENSE! You see, MySpace Canada est bilingue. Oui, er...yes, my friends: The Vastly Superior Communications Technology that is The Internet is not only bringing the world together in the embrace of its series of tubes, but also bringing Canada together. If only Sir John A. had seen the information superhighway, and how it would render nation-unifying railways obsolete. No other force in the history of TIME has ever been such a great force for good. (Look how good it is! Do you see all of the rich text I can EDIT!?)

Crush the Reactionaries! Long Live The Revolution! One! Nine! Nine! Five!